So i saw this on facebook; fbcdn-sphotos-d-a.akamaihd.net…
I"m too much of a coward to post it on there for multiple reasons and I'm sure people on here don't even care what I post anymore cause I've been active for sooooooooo long and those who do care are whom i'd consider to be friends so it's all good. Anyways, here it goes;
I'm sorry I said yes. I was afraid to break your heart but I ended up doing it anyways. In a note. I'm sorry I didn't feel the same way. You were weird but really nice. I act like I hate you but really I don't have any feelings just like in high school. I hope you're doing great and you're happy.
C'mon get a grip. You're not the same as you once were. You're not that fun, happy, carefree person anymore. You're too emotional and I know there are deep wounds that can't be healed but is there anything you can do about it? No, I don't think so. So, get up and keep going. Hope. Hold on to that. It's what's gotten you here and it's what's going to carry you.
Despite all the trouble you caused in not only my life but my sisters as well, I still love you. I can't bring myself to hate you no matter how much you scared me or treated me. I'd like to think it's because it's all the abuse I've been through that made me use to it but I don't think that's really it. I know there's something wrong with you too. We're too alike. We both got emotional problems. Yours is anger and mine is bitterness and sadness. We both know I should have left home long ago; I'm just sorry it had to be the way it was.
I"m still bitter towards you. I don't know how to fix that. I really don't. I know being bitter is wrong but I can't help it. I don't know if you ever truely loved me or just wanted to play the part as a mom. I don't know if you really love your current husband or not. I don't know anything. All I know is that it's hard to forgive you. But I'm trying to find the strength to..
Don't have one
I never liked you. The only thing you were good at was helping me create art and stories and escape homelife. Good riddens.
Jess, I'm so sorry how I treated you when we were younger. I don't know why I never liked you back then. I knew you just wanted my attention, you even told me so, but I still pushed you away. I hope I mended whatever I broke when Dani left. I hope that in that time we got closer. I don't think I could have made it through without you. You've always defended and protected me and I love you so much. And Dani, you may not know it but I'm so jealous of you. You don't have anything. You ran away and got to be with the one you love. You got to have a baby and you even recently got married! I can't tell you how long I've been waiting to be like you and yet I still have to wait. Always waiting. I hate it. I've waited all my life and it's making me bitter and angry and I'm sorry. I want to find the strength to genially be happy for you.
Dear past me,
Don't worry about those people in school. You won't ever have to see them again after about 7 years. A long wait, but trust me, that's gonna be nothing compared to the future. You need to stay strong, though, even when faced with hardship. You remember the time you held Jess when she was crying and tried to keep her and Dani safe in your room as your parents beat each other bloody outside? You have to always be that person. You must protect them at all cost. Because if you don't, they have no one. Also, be nicer to Jess. She's annoying and hyper, but she can be funny and sweet and she deserves as much love as Dani does.
Dear first love/person I love,
I don't mean to be the way I am. I try to explain how my mind is, but you don't get it. But that's okay. I don't think anyone can really understand if I told them. But please, you don't have to be strong for me. I know when you're upset, I know when you're sad, even if you deny it. You don't have to be strong for me, you can cry in my arms just as often as I cry in yours. I'm here for you, okay? No matter what I say, I'm here for you and I love you so much. Just bear with my little stage of depression and sadness and bitterness again okay? It'll pass soon, I hope..
Dear future me,
I hope you're stronger and no longer bitter. I hope you treat your husband like he's gold and cherish and be patient with your kids. I hope you're no longer afraid. Thanks for hanging in there. You did it. You should be proud.
Dear best friends,
I'm sorry I don't talk to you guys. I know I ignore you weeks, months, years on end and I'm sorry. I just don't know what to talk about and when we do talk, I kind of feel awkward and alone. We're too far apart. I don't know if things will ever be the way they were in the pass. Please don't hold onto me. You guys have to go out and find some other friends. I know it may be hard, but you can't cling to me because I'm not going to give you the attention you need and you two deserve better than that. Better than me.
Dear ex best friends,
I know I've snapped at one and I don't remember if I ever talked to the other about my anger. I just know that one of them makes me mad now when I see their name on my boyfriend's phone. Even though you guys are "bro and sis" it made me mad that you'd always go to him instead of, um, like, your own girlfriend at the time? I guess I was just so immature though. It made me try cutting myself. I did it on my ankle and it hurt and I never did it again because it really didn't help for me. But anyways, when you two stopped talking, it was like I lost you guys. I was jealous of both of you. One for being close to my boyfriend and the other for become more popular online than me. Both are stupid reasons, I know. I don't know if we can ever be friends again though. I have a lot of anger. But I don't wish anything bad on either of you. I hope you guys are okay. But I just don't want to ever think of you two again..
Dear future child,
I hope you never see me cry. I hope that you're smart and talented and loved by all. I hope that you get everything you need and are well-behaved. I hope that future me never yells at you but instead talks in a stern voice so you know you're in trouble. You don't exist yet, I know, but I love you more than anything already. You're my precious, beautiful child and I hope your future is bright.
Dear person I hate,
You're a bitch. You should have never came into our lives. I know it's wrong for me to say, but I hope God punishes you for the things you've done. I hope I never see your pretentious little face again, you cunt.
Dear celebrity crush,
Dear future husband,
Now that we're married, I hope we're still close. No, I hope we're even closer. I hope that I changed for the better and that I can make your life a bit more easier. I hope that we're both working together, hand in hand, to make the future we so longed for a reality. You have no idea how long I've waited to call you my husband and you will always be a close friend as well as my love. Please still rock me in your arms because for whatever reason I like it and it makes me feel safe. Do that even when I'm old, okay? Just don't let the kids know I'm such a baby.
Dear people that hate me,
I can't really blame you. I can be really annoying and a bitch too. I don't really have much to say to you guys other than I'm glad I don't know who you all are.
Dear people that love me,
whyyyyLike really why do you guys love me i don't understand did you not know all these problems I have? You're all weird.